There are no letters in the English alphabet that are two syllables. They are all one syllable. Except one: “w”. “W” is three syllables. Which means that “www” is nine syllables. And takes a rather long time to say. And a rather a long time to listen to.

www was not quoted until 1990. In March of 1989 a fellow named Tim Berners-Lee (4 syllables) who worked for CERN (one syllable), Centre Européen de Recherche Nucléaire, the world’s largest particle physics laboratory, was trying to sell management on an idea, and the idea was this: a global hypertext system (7 syllables). He called it at the time, “Mesh” (1 syllable).

The management saw some of the potential of Tim’s idea and he started some initial programming for it. In 1990, he had created the first browser by which a user could access his Mesh. He called the browser the “WorldWideWeb” (3 syllables).

That browser was later renamed Nexus (2 syllables); the abstract information space however became known as the World Wide Web with spaces.

I’m tired of having to say “www”. It takes too long. Yes, I’m just that busy. I’m tired of listening to people tell me their address. It takes just as long to listen. Yes, still that busy. Can we just forget the www? Most websites will still work without it.

And if we can’t lose the www, can we perhaps come up with a name that’s faster to say? Here’s a few:

Mesh – 1 syllable. Sure it takes longer to type. But it’s cool. It sounds like prospecting. And whether we are looking for porn, for free music, or to find out the real words to Bohemian Rhapsody, prospecting is a good concept.

CERN – 1 syllable. Internet critics and web aware foundations can create new marketing campaigns with DisCERN branding.

WOW - 1 syllable. All we have to do is change wide to over. It’s just that easy. World Over Web is now reduced to one syllable. “Wow” takes 1/9th the time to say and to listen to. Within months I would have saved the world at least one person’s lifetime.

POLKA - Ok. It’s 2 syllables. And it’s quite a bit harder to type. But it has a retro charm. And the polka people, both the music people and the fashion people, would like the publicity.

TBL - Yes. It’s 3 syllables. But it’s still 3 times faster than www. I’m sure Tim would like the nod.

SS – It’s the same finger you use to type www but it’s faster to say and it’s faster to type. Super Sonic? Slightly slow? Sex Service? Silver Surfer?

II – International Internet. I like II. It’s fast to say and fast to listen to and fast to type. Instead of the left hand typing with the wedding finger; the right hand is typing with the strongest finger. It also sounds like “aye-aye” which is cute. And then, for marketing, you get all the fun of playing with the “eye”. Also, “I” is the most common word in the English language and the Internet is just rife with solipsistic egomaniacs (viz me) that I, or two Is makes a lot of sense. Also, because it looks just like the roman numeral for 2, it could be launched as Phase 2 or Phase II for the world wide web; heretofore to be known as the International Internet.

SS