SnappedShots, as featured in Launch.

Things what’s had their day

Jerry Springer. Does this still work? It is the white trash sideshow. But haven’t we had enough? Bad teeth, bad hair, bad manners, bad posture, bad English and lesbians, bisexuals, cross-dressers, liars, cheaters, and drug abusers. Why haven’t we had enough? I’m concerned that there must be somebody out there still watching it. Celine Dion. Please stop. When she went into retirement a few years back, I had a party. Near, far, wherever you are, please stop going on. I don’t want you to die or anything. I just don’t want to suffer your warbling anymore.

The Simpsons, probably. I love the Simpsons, it’s true. But it’s been 16 years and they haven’t been very good or very clever for about 10 of those years. The Atkins diet. Carbohydrate-bashers. Rice, bread, pasta are bad for you? The food that has sustained civilization through history? Please. Celebrity legal trouble. Is this really our mass entertainment? Is this our lowest common denominator? When famous people do time? When famous people suffer, apparently ad nauseum, the law? I don’t give a damn if Michael Jackson is guilty or innocent, I’m so blessedly annoyed with the whole thing. In fact, celebrity TV altogether. I don’t care what they are doing, who they are shlepping, what they are wearing. The famous are like our pantheon of gods. Only they are not nearly as interesting. We take the smallest portion of our population and shine lights on them and follow them around. It’s tired. It needs to stop. Survivor. Ok. That’s enough. Four legs minus three legs equals one last leg.

Rod Stewart. He needs to stop too. I mean you have to question a society that has allowed someone like this to revive himself and have a go at making more money than God. Bikini TV. If you’re unemployed or an angry loner and you happen to flip channels between say 2 am and 4 am, you know what I mean. There are bikini girls, likely, on at least 5 of your stations. Looking not quite seductive and not quite sexy on a loop. True, you don’t have to watch, and I, categorically, don’t. But please. Make it stop.

And I would have thought Dubya, I would have been sure Mr. Bush had had his day. But I would have been wrong about that too.

SS