Slow people who ride escalators squarely in the middle. People who get on subways before people get off. Don’t you understand the rules yet? People who congregate in front of doors or at the tops or bottoms of stairs. What the darn is wrong with you? Don’t you understand you’re being very selfish and stupid? Get out of my way. Pedestrian meanderers. You can never predict if they’re going to veer left or right and knock you down. Slow pedestrian teams that usually stroll in groups of three and render themselves altogether impassable.

People in stores who summon an incredible amount of energy and speed to run to the cashier to get in front of you. Almost always these people want to pay with debit cards or Visas and want to ask questions about coupons and sales. Meanwhile, I’ve got a case of pop and the right change or I want a pack of cigarettes. Or worse, those people that rush to get in front of you to spend 8 minutes checking their miserable cache of lottery tickets. What’s wrong with these people?

The mailman, political polsters, surveyors, all those people with flyers, the pizza guy, vaguely industrious service people and teen criminals can get into my “secured” building but when UPS or Fedex come and I don’t answer my phone they take my package an hour away. If they had just got in and knocked on my door. This happens almost all the time.

Condescending rejection letters. I have a stack of them. I have kept all of them.

Being wrong. It’s a serious character flaw.

The blithely happy. Similarly, the chronically hopeless.

People who spell stationery as stationary. Especially stationery stores.

Yes, that will do for a start. I know I feel better for having said so.

SS