Things I Mistrust:

Being followed while walking down stairwells. It always gives me the creeps. Similarly, people walking closely behind me. I will slow down, or usually, speed up. Unsubscribe links. Chubby aerobics instructors. Skinny chefs. Self-help books. The blithely happy. The glass is half full people.

Future Shop employees. Television war coverage. Embedded journalist says it all, doesn’t it? The elevators in my building. They never come. They like to go down to the basement and hang around, it seems.

Gossips. Prosthletizers. Jesus-keeners on reality TV. I don’t just mistrust them. They are really distasteful. God doesn’t care if you win a million dollars. The power of your faith, whatever that might mean, does not recommend you to God more than, say, your competitors. Also, most of these shows require players to steal, cheat, and lie. I cannot abide hypocritical Jesus-types.

Men who whistle in public washrooms. Commuters who sit beside you when there are plenty of empty seats. Almost all tradespeople, especially the really happy ones. If I were skilled at something that was a mystery to others, I would overcharge too.

Too much good news. Too much happiness. Clients who say they have sent my check. The batteries in my camera. Old meat. Expiry dates on milk cartons. A new lover. A new love. Friends who leave and say they will keep in touch.

Strangers I meet in bars. Strangers I meet traveling. It’s the perfect opportunity to play someone else. I don’t blame them for it.

The likelihood of ever getting a new camera.

SS