Requests for Prayers, Answered:

Seed from the sower’s hand falls on the rock and does not grow;

Seed from the sower’s hand falls among the weeds and is choked;

Your prayer is being considered by our Committee of Apportionment;

You ought not to ask for that in the first place. Nobody knows that better than you;

Could you please rephrase your request in the form of a haiku?

Your call is important to us and will be answered in priority sequence. Thank you for holding.

Blessings, Answered:

The somebodies will be nobodies and the nobodies will be somebodies. But right now you’re an anybody. And everybody knows anybodies are always anybodies. Get back to us when you are a nobody and you will receive your blessing. But of course that won’t happen;

You are blessed so long as you think you deserve to be blessed;

If you cannot think of someone who deserves this blessing more than you do, you don’t know enough people.

Serious Spiritual Questions Flippantly Answered:

Always look for the answers. Never expect to find them;

The curious are always curious. The resigned are always resigned;

You wouldn’t believe us if we told you;

The faithful believe in what they don’t know. Now what fun would it be if we told you the answer?

If you put a wick on both ends of the candle, sure you might have more light, but where would you put it?

SS