My sweet jellybean,

Some days, like today, I miss, hmm, interaction. I miss influence and dialogue. Some days, like today, I get claustrophobic between these walls. I’ve said often, and it’s true, that my life has changed very little. I’m a homebody. I like working in my underwear. I dislike people in large groups. And, not very different than before, I paint and draw and write quite comfortably in my exile.

I’ve started cutting my own hair. Cutting isn’t right. Every few days, I set my shaver to 2” and shave my head. I haven’t really got the head for it. I have too many bumps at the back. I miss my barber. She was a rough Vietnamese woman who didn’t like to talk while she worked — which I liked — and you could feel this pressure this pushing of the shaver into my scalp but I liked the physical attention. I liked the way she took my head in her hands and moved it. And when she was done she would put a hot towel over my head and massage my head, my neck, my shoulders. And I loved that. And she wouldn’t do that for anybody else. With the hot towel over my head, she would even clean my ears. She was not an attractive woman by any means but it was always a comfortable, nearly a sensual experience, whenever she cut my hair. I miss that. But for now I’m running up my own. And I’m saving some money.

My dentist called recently. I’m taking meticulous care of my teeth during this project. I don’t want the first time I return to society to be a trip to the dentist to get a filling.

But yes, rarely it’s true, I get a little claustrophobic. I know we’re not going to Wyoming but what attracted me to the idea the most, besides going with you, was shaking off this space, shedding this dry rough skin. Today especially. All the cartoons are old. All the movies are old. I’m officially bored.

It’s beautiful weather. Warm. Not humid. I might have to scratch this itch. You remember the dog park with the wading pool? Murphy loves it there. I might have to take her there this weekend. I might even get up unnaturally early when there’s still dew on the grass and take her there. I like the peacefulness of a wide open space early in the morning. A new perspective. Or rather an old one.

SS