When I was 10 or so there were a number of books that you read interactively. It went like this: Bobby stole his dad’s wallet and put on his jacket and headed for the door. Did he: 1. Go to the arcade? Go to chapter 12. Buy smack? Go to chapter 13. Give the money to Biddy for her abortion? Go to chapter 14. Or something like that. And I read them voraciously for a summer. But they frustrated me quite a lot. I had to read all the parts I was missing. I didn’t want to miss a thing. It got so that I would read the interactive book straight through. It muddled my head. But I was sure I didn’t miss a thing.

When I was 15 I had a computer with much thanks to an impossible grade in my English class and with equal thanks to a departed cow who had given up its bovine ghost so that we could pay for it, the computer, that is. I quickly devoured interactive text-based games you could play on the computer. It went like this: You wake up in a dark room. The world is spinning or else it would be if you could see anything which you can’t. And then you told the story what to do. Turn on the light. >>You don’t see a light. In fact you don’t see anything. Open the window. >>What window? You don’t see no window. Open your eyes. >>Yes. That’s better. Or else it would be if you didn’t have a splitting headache.

Of course that was even more infuriating because you were sure you were missing bits. Even when I had solved these games the way they were meant to be solved I would continue to play them trying to do outrageous and preposterous things just to make stuff happen.

That’s exactly the way I want to live. I want to follow all my choices and my whims to their end. What’s more, I want to make outrageous and preposterous choices just to see what happens.

Which might make you think that I’d be the sort of fellow who picks a path and sticks to it. But it’s just the other way around. I am constantly changing courses. At the buffet of life I barely have time to return to my table to eat. Instead I just ricochet between the choices. Now 35, I have stacks and stacks of barely-nibbled food. And I’m ever so hungry. Yes, I think it’s time to settle on a main course. But there are so many choices.

SS