This morning started with this message on my computer: “There are unused icons on your desktop. The desktop cleanup wizard can help you clean up your desktop. Click this balloon to start the wizard.”

Now, of course, I have never used the wizard. If there are icons on my desktop, they are there for a reason. I clean up my desktop like I clean up my small busy apartment. I need to know where everything is. Still I started to think, wouldn’t it be nice to have this intrusive but pleasant wizard around in your regular life. For example:

1. There are unused clothes in you closet. Click the balloon to incinerate, destroy, ship to Goodwill, or otherwise remove.
2. You have too much unused medicine in your medicine chest. Click here to remove.
3. There are unused formerly foodstuffs in your fridge. Click the balloon to destroy or compost.
4. There are unused spices in your spice rack. Do you even know what marjoram is?
5. There are unused knickknacks on this shelf. For chrissakes, how many Kinder egg toys does one person need?
6. There are unused books in your storage closet. Stop buying books until you read the ones that you have or go to a library.
7. There are unused club cards on your desk. Click the balloon to give up. I mean face it, you’re never going to get that 10th coffee, muffin, CD, DVD, 8 track, digital rectal exam, anyway.
8. You have too much lust without any object on which to expend it. Click the balloon to dump all that useless and distracting lust.
9. You have too many crazy and unused ideas in your whacked mutton head. Commit to psychosis or commit to sanity. Stop trying to do both.
10. You have unused potential. Too much potential and too little use will crash your system. Dump some potential and increase your happiness. Potential is really a waste. Everything happens in the present.

SS