My jelliest of Jellybeans,

I’m sorry. I said it already but I can’t say it enough. I’m sorry. I did it all wrong. I said it all wrong. I’m saying it here, publicly. I’m an ass. I had no right. Of course.

I was just surprised. That’s no excuse. I was caught off-guard. I had no right to be angry. Of course I’m not angry. Not at you. I’m still angry at myself. I shouldn’t have been such…I shouldn’t have been such a man. I love our friendship. It’s really important to me.

I just want you to be happy. I’ve always said that. I’ve always meant it. I don’t know what was wrong with me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s funny that I recently wrote a letter to Anger. I should have paid more attention to what I was saying. But I’m trying. I’m trying to try. I was just so surprised. I said that already. I shouldn’t have been surprised. I shouldn’t be surprised.

I was just so disappointed you didn’t tell me. But, like you said, I guess I can’t blame you. Look how I reacted. I was just so upset to hear it from M. I wish you had told me. No. You didn’t have to tell me. You don’t have to tell me. I understand why you didn’t tell me. And of course you’re dating again. You should be. Why wouldn’t you? I’m glad you are. I want you to be happy.

I’m such a jerk. But I thought we were friends. I thought you would have told me. I thought you could have told me. No. Enough of that.

I’m sorry I was a jerk, jellybean. I’m sorry I got mad. You are a beautiful wonderful person and you should be happy. You should be dating. And if you need a little space, I will respect that even though it makes me sad. I like when you tell me about your day. I like the way you play with Murphy. You are the only person I know besides myself that likes to rub the trough between her eyes. I like the way you can make me laugh at the silliness of life, the silliness of my life. Nobody makes my life as funny as you do. You do so much for me. More than I can ever say.

So here I am publicly admitting that I’m an ass. Here I am telling you that I will respect your space. But please, I can’t stand that you’re mad at me. Please don’t be mad at me. We’re the Wonder Twins. Tell me my penance. A phone call, a word, your smile, will be more absolution than I could hope for.

I am running a bath with the foam you gave me where I will burn the beeswax candles I kept from last winter.

SS