My sweet jellybean,

Man, I know exactly what you’re talking about. Sometimes it seems like we’re never going to make it. Sometimes it all seems like too much. Sometimes, when the world never seems to be living up to your dreams, it’s time you started finding out what everything is all about. But what is life all about? Not just the struggle, not just the disappointments? It can’t be. But it’s like I said. I’m not too worried about you. I know you’re not going to give up. Of course I understand. I feel like I go through life with blinders on and it’s tough to see. I get so crazy and impatient. I have to get up and get out from under and look for me.

I know the spiral. I do it too. I get down and then I get mad at myself for getting down. And then I get mad at myself for getting mad. Kicking myself for nothing is my favorite sport. But I try not to do that. And I’m getting better at it. Sometimes all it takes is having something that’s all for you and selfish and that feels good. Besides walking Murph and SnappedShots, I’ve got writing and painting. I had to take off, start enjoying, because life’s too short.

Of course it’s hard and frustrating. But we have to make the best of things. It’s an uphill climb. I don’t mean to be patronizing here. It’s easier to say it than to do it. And I still have bad days. I just feel like telling everybody to stop. Listen. Gimme a break. I sure deserve it. It’s time I made it to the top, isn’t it? I’m so tired of everybody telling me I have to pay my dues. I have paid my dues, haven’t I? I think, actually, I’ve quite overpaid my dues. I want my dues refund. But I won’t let them get the best of me.

Sometimes all it takes is a good friend. I love the way you make my problems seem funny. Before you, I was set in my ways, losing track of days. There was only me to live for. And then came you. You know, just when you think there’s no one around who’s caring, along comes a friend who offers a hand in sharing, and things start looking fine. And just when you think you’re all by yourself, you’re not. You do that for me.

We are the Wonder Twins. We’re going to be fine, honey. Together we’re going to find our way. Together, taking the time each day to learn all about those things you just can’t buy. I’m so grateful for you, jellybean. Your friendship is like a light of a new day. It came from out of the blue, breaking me out of the spell I was in.

Never doubt, jellybean, how fabulous you are. Everybody’s got a special kind of story. Everybody finds a way to shine. It don’t matter that you got not a lot. That’s not what I’m talking about. Make no mistake you have got more than it takes.

So, you know, just keep doing what you do. I love what you do. Hold on tight and muddle through one day at a time. And as you’ve been there for me, I’ll be there for you. And when you want to feel bad, feel bad; and when you want to be happy, I’ll be there for that too. And I’ll be the first one to tell you, up on your feet, up on your feet, somewhere there’s music playing. Don’t you worry none. We’ll just take it like it comes. It’s nice to know we don’t have to stand alone. You don’t need permission to decide what you believe.

Life’s going to be sweet. We’ll get our piece of the pie. Just you wait. And you know I’ll be right there to steal your whipped cream.

• I’m sorry, honey. You know I love you. You know I don’t mean to make light of your troubles. Of course you know that. But I couldn’t help it. I told you I was going to do it. I firmly believe what you can’t learn about living from 80s TV theme songs isn’t worth knowing. They were the ecclesiastic hymns of our generation. I squeezed exactly 12 theme songs in here.

SS