I’m a Cock. Well, a Rooster anyway. And since this is my year, it behooves me (roosters don’t have hooves), to wish everyone a Happy Chinese New Year. It’s year 4702, the year of the Wood Rooster.

I’m an Earth Rooster. That’s too bad. A wood cock is really amusing. A metal cock would have done nicely, I suppose. Still, I celebrated. I ordered Chinese. Honey garlic spare ribs. Pigs do have hooves. Feeling no compunction, I suppose, a pig might be but never feel behooved. I also had sweet and sour chicken balls. Perhaps that’s a little cannibalistic, eating chicken to celebrate the Year of the Rooster. And I know, sweet and sour chicken balls are about as Chinese as I am. But Chinese or no, cannibalistic or no, they are ever so tasty.

An annoying creature, really, the rooster. Messy, foul creatures begging for attention. The cock of his walk among his harem of hens.

Still, annoying is not the official quality of the Rooster. Roosters are sharp, resourceful, organized people with uncanny observation powers. They are also meticulous, logical, and perfectionists by nature. The Rooster is also very concerned about keeping up appearances. With a fertile imagination, the Rooster has more dreams and ambitions than any other sign; and more than his share of disappointments.

Usually straightforward, the Rooster born in the hour of the Rabbit is an expert at bluffing. I’m a Rooster born in the hour of the Rabbit. Which makes me an expert bluffer. I’ve never played poker. Perhaps I should.

Wood brings us new hope and optimism. However wood clashes with metal, so we can expect conflict. Yes even the Rooster in the year of the Rooster should expect conflict. Water, apparently, can lubricate some of my tension. Water, according to the Chinese, means communication with wisdom. I’ve written that down on a Post-It and put it up by my computer. Communicate with wisdom. And I will take that to heart, I swear, once I figure out what it means.

Meanwhile, the Chinese chase away last year’s evil spirits with loud noises. I turned my music up really loud and danced in the dark. I’m not sure it was enough commotion for a proper exorcism. Perhaps, just to be safe, I will take all the pots out of my kitchen cupboard and clang them around a bit.

Inside my fortune cookie, there are three fortunes:

1. Confucius say: If you need a helping hand, look at the end of your arm.
2. Confucius say: If you need a helping hand, look at the end of your arm.
3. Confucius say: If you need a helping hand, look at the end of your arm.

I guess I’m left, quite emphatically, helping myself. Or maybe it means I should pleasure myself three times daily.

Got wood? Got cock? SnappedShots has both today.

SS