The last movie I paid $15 to see – nearly a year ago now – I was made to watch about 10 minutes of previews. I don’t mind previews. They should make a movie that feels like a preview. A preview is an art form. But I also had to watch commercials. The government had this heavy handed commercial about a dead person and cancer and cigarettes. I was not amused. I paid $15 for this movie and had to suffer 10 minutes of previews and a couple of minutes of commercials for soda and a local newspaper, but that I could have lived with; it was the government-sponsored anti-smoking commercial that I couldn’t stand. Not for that reason alone, that was the last time I paid for a movie.

Ok. Nobody could convince me that smoking is smart. There’s no mistaking it’s really stupid and short-sighted. I know this already.

But still. We, not we so much, the government and lobbying pundits are creating a brand new kind of prejudice. Smokers are evil. An old lady, while I’m listening to Everybody Loves Raymond reruns, interrupts. An old lady despairs, “Where I smoked, the air was blue. I’ve got cancer. Therefore I’m dying. I never smoked a day in my life.” Smokers must be evil to kill such a sweet old lady.

If not evil, we’re stupid at least. A girl rolls around in dog crap and gets up and says, “Can you imagine wanting to smell like crap?” Well, if you’re a smoker, you must want to smell like crap. Brought to you by stupid.ca.

And if not evil or stupid, blindly suicidal. I caught a bit of New York’s advertising. A scientist type fellow yanks out a squishy cherry-colored artery from a corpse and proceeds to squeeze out what looks exactly like, in color and in consistency, cream of corn. “Every cigarette damages you.”

Yes, I understand the argument. They’re not saying smokers are evil or stupid. They’re saying smoking is evil and stupid. But I don’t think that’s right. Smoking is stupid, no question. And yes I’m not on very solid ground. A prejudice against smokers is at least more sensible that a prejudice against non-smokers. And I reckon most of these media outlets figure they are just combating other forms of media that still glamorize smoking.

I’m not convinced it works. Cigarette packs have all sorts of horrible messages all over them to turn people off of smoking and that doesn’t seem to be working.

I’m still smoking five fags a day. I’ve got one left. The pack in front of me, I stopped to read it, says: “Cigarettes may cause sexual impotence due to decreased blood to the penis. This can prevent you from having an erection. You like erections, don’t you? Sure. Everybody loves an erection. Nobody likes a floppy fish, do they? Do you want to be a floppy fish? Well, I guess you want to be a floppy fish, since you bought this. Who’s a floppy fish? Who’s a little floppy fish? You are.”

Ok. Well, it might as well say that.

I think I might change my smoking addiction for alcoholism, a little Mary Jane, or some E. Not just less vilified, they are much more socially acceptable.

SS