Oddly angry dreams last night for no particular reason that I can think of.

A married couple on a sailboat that I knew. I was somewhere else and I saw, as if from a helicopter, the sailboat being pulled by a waterfall. But at the last minute the sailboat pulled itself out of the apparently inexorable force of the cataract and brought itself to shore, but not just to shore. To shore, up on the curb, and smoothly down the street away from me.

More. The woman I used to babysit for. Some kind of house party where that woman was my friend. But there was a fight or disagreement. I had been falsely accused of something. And couldn't prove my innocence. I was so mad and so frustrated like that Of Mice and Men guy, but unable to convince anyone of my innocence, I inexplicable grabbed the woman and shook her. I repented immediately. The woman turned out to be pregnant and my shaking had been volatile, if short. Everyone around me looked at me aghast. We were all trapped in a small town and I was thoroughly, quickly and universally shunned.

I came across this woman and her husband months later shopping for Christmas. I thought not to confront them but I still did. I tried to make them understand. I believe I had some success. I also believe it was a hardware store.

My excuses or explanation involved missing my friends and missing my chances on some sort of existential level.

Curious. Am I suffering some perceived guilt?

SS