One ply. One ply is unsufferable.

Diet Pepsi. It just won’t do when you’re a Diet Coke drinker. They are not the same thing. Diet Pepsi tastes really sweet. Too sweet. Day Old Donuts. Why bother? The cheap parts of meat. There’s a reason nobody buys these things. And there’s a reason they are cheap. If you’re buying steak, buy the best.

Decaf. Please. What’s the point? Now I get that decaf still has about half the caffeine or something like that but really, that’s just crazy. Even if I do sometimes just drink coffee for the taste, I don’t want decaf. I want the rush. I want the shakes. I want to feel the jolt. Milk in coffee. Not really for the taste which is less luxurious but for the color. Milk grays coffee. Cheese slices. Sliced cheese is not cheese.

Giving a card instead of a present. Borrowing cheap Hallmark sentimentality instead of writing your own. But what’s worse is getting a Hallmark card. My god, when you care enough to give me a card, you should have something to say.

Regular strength Advil. Crackers for croutons. Soup is really just a vehicle for croutons and crackers are fooling nobody.

Balcony seats. I’m tired of balcony seats. I’ve decided I’d rather see up close somebody unknown but possibly quite talented than somebody famous really really far away.

Meanwhile, an extended walk for Murphy today and autumn, bright and charming, resting flat on a picnic table.

SS